crash: slow or fast?

Word on internet street is that something crashy might be happening on Sept. 18 or 19th.

Feeling my way through - and feeling frustrated

I've been exploring a bunch of different options and I keep running into dead zones and tests.

So far I've checked out a permaculture-based intentional community, a freegan house-share, a spiritual community owned apartment complex, random super-cheap roommate situations on craigslist, and a caretaker position...and nothing seems to feel right or even produce a ripple of response.

That's not exactly true, I did field an offer to work and live onsite for a small new age company located in the country. I almost accepted before I realized that working there would actually be a huge step backwards to everything I hated about the wage slavery I've done in the past. Except my employers would also now be my landlords. And that living only 100 yards away from "the master" would be suffocating, even if it is set in the most beautiful and open natural setting.

So I'm feeling a bit frustrated but I know I need to keep at it. Keeping my awareness on feeling things out while watching for signs of "the road rising to meet my feet." And visualizing how a rat raised in a maze could eventually figure out how to escape rather than just finding different ways to run the maze, or to just lay down for good out of frustration and learned helplessness.

whoa there, girl.

Lisa: I hate going to the zoo, I feel so sorry for all the animals.

Homer: But captivity opens up a whole new world for them! In the wilds they would never experience boredom, obesity, loss of purpose.... You know, the American Dream!

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So how's my plan going to drop everything and run away to the woods?

Well, after making some very do-able (but not exactly stable) plans, I decided to revisit the urgency I was feeling to get away from civilization. I kept on getting an intuitive hit to google "how to drop out" when I came upon a link to Ran Prieur's blog. Lo and behold, he has an amazing essay called "How to Drop Out."

A quote from the introduction:
The goal is not to get out of the prison, but to get out in a way that enables you to stay out. Be patient. Think ahead. Getting free is not like walking through a magic doorway -- it's like growing a fruit tree.

Well, amen to that. And so I am now focusing on reducing my spending and consumption as a first step to dropping out. And I can still run off to the woods whenever I want - it just won't be full-time, not yet.